Relationships

The most Influencing Techniques of Successful Leaders

A great book by Dale Carnegie shows how to be influential. Top investor Warren Buffett said it had changed his life, so perhaps you can learn something from Carnegie’s universal principles of dealing with people. What struck him was that the successful people – the leaders – were often not the ones with the most knowledge. What distinguished them above all was their ability to deal well with other people. What can we learn from Carnegie’s very extensive observations of such successful people? Al Capone, the infamous gangster and liquor merchant from Chicago, saw himself already a benefactor of the American public, and not as an enemy of the state. Capone is no exception. Complete prisons are full of people who do not blame themselves. And this certainly does not only apply to criminals.

Carnegie writes that he walked the third century on earth before he realized that 99 out of 100 times people are not capable of self-criticism, however wrong they may be. If people do not criticize themselves, how will they react if someone else does? We must realize that when dealing with people, we do not deal with logical thinking beings. We are dealing with emotional beings with enormous egos and prejudices, driven by pride and vanity. Therefore:

1. If you want to collect honey, do not overpower the beehive
The only way to let someone do something is to make sure he wants to do it. There is no other way. According to Sigmund Freud, people have only two motivations for all of their actions; sex drive and the need to be great. Philosopher John Dewey formulated something else. However, you put it; people like to be appreciated. That is an absolute basic need such as food, drinks, safety and social contact. And people do the craziest things to get it.

2. Give people honest and sincere appreciation
Have you ever had an e-mail that starts to explain what the other party wants to do from you? What is this a practical approach to the other party? Probably not. The only way to influence other people is to speak about what they want and then demonstrate how they can get it. Every decision that people make is based on what they want. When people donate to a good cause, it is because it makes them feel good, that they are worth more than the amount transferred. Do you want something done, you will have to release that need in the other person.

3. Activate a compelling need in the other person
According to a study by the New York telephone company; ‘I’ is by far the most used word in telephone conversations. This indicates what the interest of most people is looking for. While it is not difficult to imagine that you can make more friends by being genuinely interested in them, then they try to be interested in you.

4. Show genuine interest in other people
Actions speak louder than words. An action that is guaranteed to be successful is to give someone a sweet, sincere smile. A smile shows that you are doing something to see another person. That’s why dogs are so popular; they show genuine joy when someone enters. The effect of the smile is powerful. Call centre employees are not trained to smile during conversations for no reason; potential customers hear that smile through the phone. And say so yourself, if you receive a call, what do you like better? A cold, business tone or a voice that sounds happy to speak to you? People rarely succeed in something if they do not enjoy it.

5. Smile (this is the messenger of your good intentions)
Carnegie once interviewed the famous politician James Farley about the secret of his success. The mystery was that he could name as many as 50,000 people by their first name. He developed a system to remember names at a young age. People like to be mentioned by their name. Many people do not take the time to remember names because they are too busy. But they are probably not busier than Franklin D. Roosevelt, who even recognized the names of all the mechanics he came in contact with. Industrial tycoon Andrew Carnegie wanted to sell steel to the president of the rail company in Pennsylvania J. Edgar Thompson. So he named his steel factory in Pittsburgh ‘J. Edgar Thompson Steel Works’. Where do you think Thompson bought his steel from then on? Using names can work magically.

6. Remember that someone’s name is the best sound of the world for him/her
In conversations, ‘listening’ means that most people are silent until they get a chance to respond. They like to talk about themselves and are not interested in what the other person has to say. Successful people are often good at the art of listening. They are not just silent while someone else tells something, but they look actively so that the other person can hear and feel important.

7. Listen carefully to others
Encourage others to talk about themselves. And ask them questions they would like to answer. Anyone who has been a guest at Theodore Roosevelt was amazed at his extensive knowledge of a wide variety of subjects. The secret of his success was that when he expected a guest, he started to read about the interests of that person. When you enable someone to talk about what he or she has a great passion for, you can then achieve a lot if not everything.

8. Speak about what interests the other person
Everyone you meet is your superior in a certain way. Everyone wants to feel important. The best way to win them for you is to show them in a subtle way that you recognize and acknowledge their importance. You can learn something from everyone you meet, so take this last advice to heart

9. Make sure the other person feels important. And do it sincerely.